THE SUPER-WORKING-MUM-SYNDROME

The modern woman experiences shockingly overwhelming responsibilities. With the myriad roles of the modern woman it is becoming even harder to balance life, family and career.

As a busy mum, it is extremely difficult to balance your roles. Mums with ADHD find this even more difficult to do. If you are a working mum, with ADHD, and your child may have ADHD as well, it is no wonder that you may be experiencing crushing feelings of overwhelm and guilt.

Mums face such huge demands on their time, you can easily  fall victim to the “Super Working Mum Syndrome.”

SYMPTOMS OF THE SUPER-WORKING-MUM-SYNDROME

Here are some common expectations:

  • Home cooked meals and freshly prepared salads every day

  • You regularly have guests over

  • Your pantry fully stocked

  • Your kitchen and entire home sparklingly clean

  • No clutter anywhere

  • Your financial papers and systems in order

  • Your children looking spotless always

  • You give time every day to play and read to your children

  • You look fabulous and put together every day

  • You are on time for work every day

  • Yours and your family wardrobe up-to-date

  • You give time to your husband every day

  • Your children’s appointments are current and you never miss an appointment

  • Your cars are serviced and maintained

  • You are in regular contact with extended family

  • Your work deadlines filled on time

Just reading over the above expectations is enough to give anyone intense feelings of guilt!

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS

Emotional symptoms that you may be suffering from this syndrome are, intense crushing guilt because of all those tasks that you need to get done, but simply can’t get around to doing them; exhaustion and resentment at your family. This occurs when you feel intense responsibility for all the many problems in your family and household. Anger at your husband and children for making a mess and contributing to the general clutter and disorganisation in your home. The inner shame is particularly painful.

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

Your emotional world has a direct effect on your physical world. Here are some common physical symptoms:

  • Weight gain or loss

  • Memory loss

  • Depression (anger at yourself at being unable to meet your unrealistic expectations)

  • Resentment to your spouse

  • Anxiety (unrealistic expectations)

  • Frequent colds

  • Frequent headaches

  • Chronic exhaustion

WOMEN WITH ADHD

Women with ADHD are even more vulnerable to the “Super Working Mum Syndrome.” This is because ADHD is largely misunderstood. It is not about being unable to focus. It is about focusing on everything at once, and being unable to filter out what is not important and prioritise what needs to be done now and what can wait for later, or not done at all.

For the ADHD woman prioritising can be a frightening feeling. Panic, guilt and second-guessing sets in when you see that you can not do everything at once, and at the time that you want to do it.

YOUR INNER CRITIC

Many women suffer from the inner critic. Women with ADHD often suffer even more from their own inner critic, that inner voice that pounds you and gives you no rest.

Women who fall prey to the “Super Working Mum Syndrome” usually have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others.

The long-term effects of the “Super -Working – Mum – Syndrome” are not pretty.

Stress is the number one cause of cancer and heart disease and death in the western world. You may be literally killing yourself, slowly but surely.

START TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

To start to move towards your inner change, you need to stop expecting to be super woman, and start to love yourself. You need to start living according to your expectations. You can be loved according to who you are. Stop comparing yourself to other women. You have no idea what their private lives are really like.  You have no idea how much household help they have.  Those women often have different priorities to you, that don’t work for your life, with your husband and your family needs.

You ned to start to actively let go of your internal expectations. You need to be OK when you leave the house and there is still mess around, and you haven’t had time to put on make-up.

  • You need to be OK with the dishes in the sink from 2 days ago.

  • You need to be OK with serving the same dinner for 2 nights in a row, or dare I say, cereal again…

  • You need to be OK with yourself, when your family doesn’t like the dinner your prepared and you chuck it in the bin, sigh…

  • Yes, even if your children can’t find any clean vests and you have searched the entire house… (happened to me)

  • Yes, even if you miss so many of your children’s NHS medical appointments that you need to find another practice, (this also happened to me.)

  • Yes, even when you are making a family gathering and you can’t find that important file with all your family members’ addresses in, (happened to me again…)

Everyone, even those seemingly perfect and put-together women, makes mistakes, they just don’t talk about them. You need to start to laugh at your own mistakes and show your children that you are only human, and that it is totally OK to make mistakes. Teach yourself that mistakes serve as feedback mechanisms to help you move along on your path to live the life that you really want to live.

THE ADHD WAY TO GET THINGS DONE AT HOME AND AT WORK

There are three secrets to living your successful life.

The tasks that you find difficult, that give you anxiety, either delegate to someone else, delete and do without, or learn the appropriate skills to carry do to a good enough level.

Learn to be comfortable with your imperfections, and focus on your strengths and achievements, even if they are imperfect.

By putting these ideas into practise, little by little, you will start to see improvements at home and at work. Most importantly you will start to feel more alive and vibrant.

Find out more about how to improve your efficiency at work here.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO CREATE MORE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE?

 In my Focus Success Program you will learn how to love yourself, and become your own best friend, and how to significantly reduce your stress. Sign up for your free no obligation, no pressure, Discovery call here.  I can’t wait to speak to you and work with you to craft your true inner life.

I am one of only a handful of certified ADHD Coaches in the UK. I am passionate about showing you that there is a way out of your struggles. Are you overwhelmed with your ADHD, or living with a child who has ADHD?
You don’t need to suffer alone anymore. Studies have found that ADHD coaching really works.
I get your challenges, and I have the tools to help you lead your successful life.
You owe it to yourself to find out more about your ADHD.  Buy my latest book which will open your mind to many aspects of ADHD that you didn’t know about. Knowledge is power. Check it out
here.

 

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