My struggle with being good enough the ADHD way

The past few months have been one long roller-coaster ride.

We have been doing renovations in our home. My life has been turned upside down (and inside out) as soon as the renovation work started back in April.

We have ended up doing far more than we originally planned. Sounds familiar?

The second floor of my house now serves as a kitchen, dining, living, office and storage space. My 19 year old daughter has taken over half of my office as her room on the first floor has been sliced in half…She works in the afternoon, and likes to sleep in, yes, even with the noise that is going on around us. This means I can only start work after 11am…

THE NOISE

The constant drilling from the floors beneath sometimes feel to me as though they are in sync, one harmonious orchestra made up of the electrician, plumber, carpet fitters, plasterers and whatnots.

A typical day will have one painter plodding his way up and down the walls of my house, the stairs renovation guy midway between floors, one worker doing the doorframes and installing locks, one electrician with his three assistant/trainees hovering about him, plus the three workers doing the kitchen plumbing. Just going to fetch the milk from the fridge (the one item of furniture we kept in daily use downstairs) involves three polite requests, some elbowing and one splitting headache! Its often not worth the effort…

THE CHAOS

And that’s not all! My next door neighbours are also getting renovation work done, using the same team of builders. There is this agreement, I have no idea when it was signed, that the builders pop in to use our downstairs bathroom facilities…So that adds to the numbers…

In short, there is no peace, lots of noise, and precious little privacy in my home. 

All that is the perfect recipe for an awful lot of decision-making overload. I face daily the terrifying, pressure of fear of that I might just make a “wrong” decision today. I might just waste a lot of money and time…I am so pressured that I need to make the perfect decision, and even though I tell myself that I am good enough, that anxiety is a constant companion for the meantime. This  stress creates terrible focus overload. It has been really difficult to run my business, feed my family, (why are they always hungry lately? and run a sort of normal household. Please tell me what you think “normal” means… 

Find out more about my ADHD journey here.

THE RESPONSIBILITY TO STILL SPREAD ADHD TOOLS

A few weeks ago, I nearly turned down a request from theMY editor of “Exceptionalneedstoday” magazine to write an article for them on ADHD.

In fact, I did say no.

After pushing off the task and missing the deadline, I realised that I can’t just “slack off.” I needed to rethink this one. 

All my life I have struggled mightily with my ADHD. I have found tools to work with it and not against it. I have spent many years working on myself so that I can help myself, my marriage and my 5 ADHD kids be the best that they can be. 

I forget that what I think is common sense/a simple tool that “everyone” uses, is not so common, and those tools are not so simple, and no, “everyone” does not use them… My clients have told me many times that I must share with the world the tools I use daily, for myself, my family and my business. 

I realised that I was aiming too high and that writing an article in a good enough fashion would be more than adequate.

It took me 30 minutes to write the article. Usually, it would have taken 2 plus hours to write it.

I bravely emailed the draft. I was terrified. I was sure that the editor would send me a long list of corrections and some ideas that she was not happy with.

The editor responded within a day. I was so scared and ashamed at what her reply would be that it took me a day to open her email. Does that sound familiar to fellow ADHD women?

This is the response that I received from the editor:

“Thank you so much – this is terrific! I appreciate you spending your weekend on this.”

And that is all! Not one comment on what I should edit or change…She loved the article just the way I sent it.

COMMON ADHD THINKING TRAPS

Why oh why do us ADHD women undervalue ourselves time and time again?

Why do we doubt what we have to give to the world?

Why do we expect the worst? 

Why do we set such impossibly high standards for ourselves? I call it Imposter Syndrome…

Why do we carry around so much guilt and shame?

Why can’t we be happy with who we are?

When are us ADHD women going to be happy to just be “good enough?”

You will find the answers to the above questions in my ground breaking books on ADHD. You can quiet your inner critic and find your “good enough” self. It’s easy when you possess the right skills for your ADHD.

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